Thursday, September 22, 2011

Mind Nudity! [by Chintan]

This is the first guest post in KHOJ from a crazy kudi Punjab di with one big misconception. She is crazy because she is different…rarest of personality who does not dare to speak her heart out. She is adorable, she is charming, she can shock you with her sharp words, she is a true Sagittarian who wants to rule the world…What misconception? She once gave me an award for my ‘intelligence’. Without wasting any further time, here’s Chintan unleashed

P.S. The opinion below is that of the writer and not necessarily of Khoj....any one willing to write a guest post here can email me at subhrashis.adhikari@gmail.com >>>



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Sub! Sub, is the reason I started taking blogging seriously, yet, again. I was an avid blogger in 2006-2007 for about 8 months. I used to write on political agendas. I was a blogger on O3, and TOI used to feature bloggers on its home page. Most of my articles (around a dozen) were published and it got my blog around 40,000 hits in less than six months. I was very happy with it, but it was time consuming. Life took a twist, some serious things happened, I started concentrating more on my career and blogging was paused for couple of years, till 2010. I started blogging again in 2010 and somewhere during early this year Sub discovered my blog and was a regular reader. I was surprised how he read each and every post, initially I did not know how to respond but then I learnt the blogging techniques of today’s bloggers and here I am blogging for Sub! Now most of my blogs have been merged to The Blunt Blog and I started blogging on this platform from August2011. What do I have for Sub?

 I have Mind Nudity.

Mind Nudity is as simple as it sounds but a rare occurrence these days. Somewhere in all these social networks, fake smiles, closely connected world we have lost a connection with our inner self. When we talk, we weigh our words, we calculate the likes it may receive on facebook, we do things for them to be acknowledged, we live in a world which is shallow and worry about society hellhounds. We blog, we speak, we want to be listened, sometimes we do not want to be listened and above all we do not want to be read. In the world of open mindedness where we appreciate skin nudity, we have covered our minds so much so that we do not even know who we look at in the mirror. There are many diplomatic bloggers who I am obliged to read, for they read my blogs. However, I wonder, do they do justice to blogging? Do they do justice to themselves? Many a times I have been questioned and even told, why and how am I this open? How can I talk about anything under the sun? Am I not afraid of what my family would think? Once I even received an email from a reader who questioned the choice of the topics I blog about and yes he questioned about my family as well! If I am married, how does my husband react to what I blog about?

My question to all those, who question the right to speak one’s mind is, were you asked when you were conceived? Did anyone ask you what gender would you like to be? No. No one did. One may argue, I am simply being irrational here or this is an argument that even science may not answer, but that’s how I roll. I suffer from schizophrenia, it’s not very serious but I have had very bad experiences. At one time I was scared of myself and looking in to the mirror as well. I thought the person in the mirror is not me, same symptoms were shown by my grandmother but she died. No one knew she suffered. Family still thinks, it was perhaps black magic. I have obsessive compulsive disorder, but my psychiatrist Dr. Vyjayanthi Bonanthaya from Manipal Bangalore, told me it’s alright to have OCD and people with OCD are much more organized. She always told me, I see passion in you. When I was under treatment, I always stayed sedated, did not know what was happening around me, I could not perform at work, I was a top performer who was promoted twice but had to leave and move on because I just could not cope. I moved to London, stopped medication and since then am fighting with everything on my own. My determination, the whole concept of Mind Nudity happened for I wanted to live and live without depending on medicines. Dr told me not to stop medicines and continue the course for symptoms can come back. I have observed if I keep writing, I am in control and I can manage pretty well. The day I step in Bangalore, I would meet the Dr again, to say hello.

Now why did I mention all that here? If I do not accept what I have, what my shortcomings are and take pride in it, I will only suffer more. If I do not speak my mind, I am burdening my heart with guilt, horror, keeping everyone happy while I am not happy myself. Now, I am a much more selfish person. I keep my happiness above all. Originally I wrote Mind Nudity describing how awful I felt because of all the complications but I add glamour to all of that and take it with a pinch of salt. Some of the stories, topics that I have touched upon are considered taboo. But who defines taboo? We do. Why is sex taboo? Our parents did it, we do it, our next generation will do it, even dogs do it and teach us a lesson or two, yet it is taboo. Suicides are taboo. Some who do it irrationally, I do not vouch for them, but after seeing some serious cases in my family and friends cases I have started speaking openly about it. Look what people do to Marvi Sirmad. Why do they do it? Because the ones, who are too scared to speak their mind, pull others down too. Are you one of them? Are you un-sure about what you say? Are you un-sure of your opinion or are you one of those diplomatic people who do not want to hurt anyone but stay hurt all the time for they cannot say out aloud what they want to?

Recently I observed many bloggers have been adding disclaimers after their posts, I do not mean to hurt by blogging on this topic or promote so and so profession! Well, the truth is so and so exists and that is why we blog about it. If someone is offended, that person is living in denial and if you do not speak your mind, well am sorry to say but you are living in denial. Speak your mind, who knows when they say,” you only get one life” it is indeed true and all you did throughout your life was, covered your mind.

By the way, do you hide things from your almighty too?

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P.S.: It would be great if you can keep the link for your blog below your comment :) - SUB


You React:

71 comments:

  1. wow what to say Sub! except that I want to read her on regular basis! thankz for introducing her here:-)

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  2. hello SUB....
    Recently i have  started following Chintan's blog and after reading her few write ups i can tell that you have gone for the right person for debut guest post here bcoz whatever she writes she just pour her heart into it.....

    Hi Chintan...
    I agree when someone writes a post he/she must speak his/her mind without any diplomatic approach,,,butt you know we human are hippocratic  by nature so at times we just intend to show off ourselves what actually we may not be like.....
    very well penned....!

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  3. Nice post sub, and chintan...
    I could come under those diplomatic bloggers you've mentioned in this post, and I did put a disclaimer in my last post (yikessss!!!), but I can only speak for myself here, and I will say this, I used to be a very rebellious and blunt person in my teen days, I was a rebel without a cause (or clue).... I never gave a second thought as to what I was saying and who it could hurt, I would look down on those who in my view would sugar coat things, but marriage, motherhood and age, brought with it a wisdom, a new found patience I never knew I had, a tolerance for a lot more than I thought I was ever capable of, and yes, maybe as you put it....diplomacy....but I don't feel I've lost of my original self or thoughts in the process, it's just a newer version me, now I think I can speak my mind, while respecting the other's feelings and opinions that's all....

    Overall a lovely post...very typically chintan style....we each have our styles and isn't that which makes us unique and different really ??? Love both your's and chintan's blog....glad I found you guys....

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  4. Chintan, you truely are a remarkable woman! If we were all as strong, courageous, honest and genuine as you, this world would be an amazing place!
    Well done for your first guest post!

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  5. My father has told me time and again to not react, but be an observer instead
    I cant say I have listened to him, because my reactions are often explosive ones!
    But I want to, I really want to be able to have the control and the restraint which speaks much much more than the outburst.
    Not to say I want to be diplomatic and all that, because even if I try to silence the lashing tongue, my eyes and my body language turns traitor!!
    I would also like to know if they (the fakers) lie to their God as well?? good question!

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  6. SUB: I have been a fan of your work but more than that, the patience you show to my questions and answering my mails :) :) is just super kool :D :D
    CHINTAN:  From your posts I could partially know that you are a fighter, but the things you have shared here now just proves I was right :) :).  Keep rising gal u have already broken the barriers....lots of good wishes & prayers :) :) 

    About people speaking minds, I personally think it depends on ones experiences and ones nature of expression.  One thinks bold one expresses bold, one thinks soft one expresses soft.  Sometimes it so happens that one thinks bold but expresses soft, that may not be because the person is fake or scared but just being patient and trying to avoid unnecessary conflicts.  Cannot imagine a world where everyone is just shouting their minds loud without thinking about the consequences or keeping in mind their audience.  Everybody speaks their mind in someway or the other.  Having said that I completely agree with you that there are certain kinds of people who would change or fake their opinion just for the likable factor which I do not think is right.   

    About the Almighty...do we even have to express ourselves there :) :) He knows our hearts and no matter what we say, we do not have to fear bricks and bats, it will always be love in return... So in front of Him no matter how much we cover up, He still sees us completely naked :) :).... but sadly we cannot expect Godly behavior from our audiences on Earth :) :)

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  7. And now i know why this page is referred in the other blog so nicely.. loved the post, as as one of the below comment says.. i loved the word usage too..

    Pramoda
    http://yedilmangemore.blogspot.com/

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  8. @Kanchan : Wellsaid. Today maturity has become a blurred concept. It is often taken as a silly excuse to earn immunity against one's ability to listen to his/her conscience. When in childhood,no-one not worried about what they did or what they said. But as time proceeded one started to calculate his words in order to become "mature". One who didn't,remained stupid in the world of self-proclaimed "matures".

    But no worries-good news is there are some people who still believe in "stupidity" :)
    Long live stupidity :)

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  9. Ah! I wouldn't term speaking my mind as stupidity. Maturity, stupidity are all relative and rather caging terms. And very aptly said, self proclaimed matures. I have met some of that kind for sure.

    cheers for the comment, I should be visiting your blog.

    Chintan
    http://chintangupta.blogspot.com

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  10. Well...This was an amazing read...I had never imagined this part..I could not believe what I was reading!!!

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  11. I like your take on almighty! Exactly what I have been taught, observed, understood from shabads, gurbanis..He knows it all. Yet, there are times I need to speak to him when I have no one else to talk to. There are few things which remain between the god and me :) I can keep secrets too you know.

    Now coming back to Mind Nudity, one need not be bold, one need not have a certain tone. Speaking mind need not be rude either. Its about being true to yourself and others who one ought to be true.

    And ofcourse Sub is a darling ;)

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  12. Thank you teacher, I am wondering if you are Miss T? I wish you had left the linkie :(

    Cheers,
    Chintan
    http://chintangupta.blogspot.com

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  13. The feeling is mutual Anjali, I loved the post on IT wife :D From that post, I couldn't feel you are diplomatic, so if you are one, you have mastered the act. One need not be blunt to speak the mind. It's only about conveying what you think, I have toned down since my teen days, I might have scared you all if I had blogged in teens. That's when the schizo had started and I did not even know about it. I was going through all kind of ups and downs in life. When I read my old blogs, I ask myself where has that anger gone! But it's still there, some of it is.

    One must not feel guilty or awkward for not being truthful to oneself, that's all I wish for.

    Cheers,
    Chintan

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  14. Thank you Irfaaann.

    I secretly wanted Sub to say if I could write one :D I am happy now <3

    Thank you for your kind words, I like your posts for the same reasons. Straight from the heart, no un-necessary sugar coating.

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  15. Thank you mishi....

    Cheers,
    Chintan
    http://chintangupta.blogspot.com

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  16. I'll be honest here. When I first stumbled upon your blog, even i had thoughts the likes of which you mention, but with time I realized that i (and others like me) were the crazy ones, not you.
    You speak your heart out always and this post just proves that. And ya, thanks so much for telling me about this.
    I want to promise myself that i will no longer be diplomatic but i m not too sure how much i'll be able to do it. a few posts i do write non diplomatically, i m always worried of what others will think. High time i shed that fear.

    Take care. Love your blog.

    @Sub - Even though not by you, once again a post on your blog has given me a lot to think. :)

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  17. powerpack post! a brave an honest realization of who one is ,and a courageous acceptance of truth.
    however,in certain exceptions and not referring to this post, its not words alone that defines the strength one may posses, its sometimes the silence that armours us more and hence speaks ( maybe screams) louder and piercer than any word or expression. . psychologically , it is referred to as 'silent speech'. anyway, the  nitty grittties would be digressing.
    in all a good post!

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  18. I like really good what you write and the way you do it. You inspire me a lot, althougt I do not write any "choching" things, but I wish I could do that...
    I Think you are very sweet too:-)

    http://spiderfruen.blogspot.com/

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  19. Wow! I just love the posts you write on special subjects. They are much more thought-provoking and meaningful, to me. 

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  20. Mind nudity ummmm... I'll say I am open to everything :) Its a very thoughtful and straightforward post :) I am sure the lady who wrote it is really a woman of substance :) I appreciate each and every honest and sincere word written on this page today.. I felt a bid uneasy when you stated your problems, but if people really take it upon themselves to live each moment the way they want then I am sure, we won't need doctors for every sniff and cold :P :) Hats of to the lady :)

    Cheers,

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  21. Thank you Janhvi, means a lot <3
    Cheers,
    Chintan
    http://chintangupta.blogspot.com

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  22. Stuti, very well pointed out. Silence is something I am practicing these days but yet what has to spoken is spoken.

    Cheers,
    Chintan
    http://chintangupta.blogspot.com

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  23. Thanks Tanvi, I am the lady you talked about <3

    I take pride in my errors, mistakes and regretful decisions as well, that's what has made me stronger..As Bulleh Shah says, Je Main Lakh Gunah Kamayein, Taan vi Banda tera.... [even if i committed million crimes, am still yours --- bulleh shah to his almighty]

    Cheers,
    Chintan
    http://chintangupta.blogspot.com

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  24. Bharathiraja RamachandraboseSeptember 23, 2011 at 5:06 PM

    I second... :)

    Bharathiraja
    http://bharchive.blogspot.com

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  25. Bharathiraja RamachandraboseSeptember 23, 2011 at 5:09 PM

    I second this, too. The second seconding... :)

    Bharathiraja
    http://bharchive.blogspot.com

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  26. Bharathiraja RamachandraboseSeptember 23, 2011 at 5:18 PM

    Chintan... Superb post. I have seconded two comments down so I don't even have to talk about my views. You can make out - I am one of those "not so honest" - diplomatic fellows around. I just talked about it in my latest post. I admire you for your courage but I would also admit that I can't be like that. 

    Like Anjali had said, I was more blunt in my teens and have become softer now. I thought this is evolution but now you are saying it is the other way around. Looks like it is a cycle. Let me tell you "honestly" - I am more peaceful after becoming softer (though there are problems with this approach as well). Just the reverse of what you are going through... :)Sub... Thanks for introducing Chintan. I will start following her and go through her blog shortly.

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  27. :) as long as we are clear about your diplomatic tone :P

    Sometimes we do not realize and yet speak the truth, like how you just did! That's all I ask for. I do not want people to bring the knives out and start cutting the limbs, just be yourself without a wall...

    Thanks for the follow, I should check your blog!

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  28. All I can say is HURRA ;)  I love when people start living for themselves, and stop taking everything doctors says for granted. 

    Great! :) Thanks for sharing :)

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  29. Whoa! Chintan, you really wrote it. *Fake Smile* :P

    I wonder what if you go uncensored and uncut? Would be nice to read you. :) 

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  30. it was very sweet of you SUB to encourage your friend for writing blogs :)

    and CHINTAN I got form your post why SUB pushed you to write :)
    You write beautifully.. Loved your acidic tone.. Keep writing :)

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  31. Oh yea, I totally agree about not feeling guilty part, that's how I see it, infact a lot of my views could be considered radical by Indian standards, but yet I do try to be truthful to myself and present my point of view the best I know how.
    I wouldn't be able to sleep at night if I wouldn't be honest and present my true thoughts.
    If what you were referring to is actually try to play to the gallery just to try and get attention, than yes I agree that is being superficial and fake, and that is completely not me... :-)
    Anyway, loved this post, very thought provoking...

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  32. did i push? no,  just admired :)

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  33. do visit...you won't be disappointed :)

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  34. brilliant, i have found over time that being a fake does not help, one time of the other things come out and one can only lie so much. one lie leads to hundreds more ..
    so i take the easy way out Say it as it is ..

    I use to worry about the likes on my articles of comments but not anymore people who know me or read what i write know me pretty well now , i got nothing to hide from them or the world anymore I am who i am is what i beleive .. I AM ME  :)

    and I do beleive in speaking ones mind.. if someone doesnot like then its up to them :)
    All the best to you and keep being YOU ..

    Bikram's

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  35. Well, as I always say, it take a lot of courage and intelligence to be what you are. I always applaud honesty. And, at times circumstances change you, they bring drastic change the way you live your life. I'm happy to know that you taking life on your own stride and doing great. And, if someone says something wrong or hurting on blogs, treat it as their ignorance. Great post and thanks to Sub for sharing it with us.

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  36. atleast you didn't say baba Sub!...:p

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  37. thank you ege, can you please share your blog link?

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  38. then we are on the same side ;)
    cheers xx

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  39. Mann Saab, bahut bahut shukriya!
    You like being you, I like being me, if only the world could be itself too :)

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  40. Thank you Madhulika. I have been writing for many years but I was writing silently in my own world in 2010...earlier I was a known blogger on a different website though. So, Sub sort of dragged in to this side of the world for sure, which I hadn't seen...

    Cheers <3

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  41. Uncensored? my dear friend prateek :P, I am not a porn writer :P

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  42. LOL....Chintan..

    What's was in your mind Prateek :p

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  43. here u go >>>
    http://www.egedenne.com/

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  44. http://www.egedenne.com

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  45. very well expressed Chintan. as always :)
    my thought went to how & when i had discovered your blog. its been 3 months. i cant recall but it's been fun all along.

    Sub, i see you are nearing your Blog anniversary! just 11 more days to go :) cheers

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  46. Haha, comeon be honest, you missed it didn't you?? :D

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  47. I sure did...I'm in love with that name :P

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  48. Thanks for your comments Spiderdama...sorry for late reply, for some reason your comment went to spam....thanks again...

    Cheers!
    SUB

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  49. That's Chintan in her element. Take me as I am or go to hell...I don't care. I know you are impulsive, emotional... and it comes through in your writing. I may not have agreed with one or two odd posts of yours. But then you were sensible enough to admit that you were wrong. Now how many of us can do that?

    Don't let anything or anyone change you. You go girl !

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  50. Cheers Purba!

    Difference of opinion and honest feedback goes a long way, so what if you did not like few posts or even more :) as long as I can take that in my stride, work on it and improve, that's all that matters <3

    Cheers,
    Chintan
    http://chintangupta.blogspot.com

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  51. truth and the real reaction can not be hidden, if one masters this art..they simply live in a lie...! not that everything needs to be told, but as long as we are aware....we are good :)

    Cheers,
    Chintan

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  52. Well said. But at times, when you have put forth a point, you try to defend it to your last drop of blood. From whatever experience I have had, I have indeed found a few people who would not step down, even if they know they are wrong about something. Well, there are different kinds of people, and it's actually fun :) Whether they do justice to blogging or not, that's another long long story.

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  53. Hmm... Chintan, mind nudity. Nice term for opening up.
    Sub, Nice choice of a guest post.

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  54. thanks for the visit Kumar :)

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