Mind Nudity! [by Chintan]

This is the first guest post in KHOJ from a crazy kudi Punjab di with one big misconception. She is crazy because she is different…rarest of personality who does not dare to speak her heart out. She is adorable, she is charming, she can shock you with her sharp words, she is a true Sagittarian who wants to rule the world…What misconception? She once gave me an award for my ‘intelligence’. Without wasting any further time, here’s Chintan unleashed

P.S. The opinion below is that of the writer and not necessarily of Khoj....any one willing to write a guest post here can email me at subhrashis.adhikari@gmail.com >>>

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Sub! Sub, is the reason I started taking blogging seriously, yet, again. I was an avid blogger in 2006-2007 for about 8 months. I used to write on political agendas. I was a blogger on O3, and TOI used to feature bloggers on its home page. Most of my articles (around a dozen) were published and it got my blog around 40,000 hits in less than six months. I was very happy with it, but it was time consuming. Life took a twist, some serious things happened, I started concentrating more on my career and blogging was paused for couple of years, till 2010. I started blogging again in 2010 and somewhere during early this year Sub discovered my blog and was a regular reader. I was surprised how he read each and every post, initially I did not know how to respond but then I learnt the blogging techniques of today’s bloggers and here I am blogging for Sub! Now most of my blogs have been merged to The Blunt Blog and I started blogging on this platform from August2011. What do I have for Sub?

 I have Mind Nudity.

Mind Nudity is as simple as it sounds but a rare occurrence these days. Somewhere in all these social networks, fake smiles, closely connected world we have lost a connection with our inner self. When we talk, we weigh our words, we calculate the likes it may receive on facebook, we do things for them to be acknowledged, we live in a world which is shallow and worry about society hellhounds. We blog, we speak, we want to be listened, sometimes we do not want to be listened and above all we do not want to be read. In the world of open mindedness where we appreciate skin nudity, we have covered our minds so much so that we do not even know who we look at in the mirror. There are many diplomatic bloggers who I am obliged to read, for they read my blogs. However, I wonder, do they do justice to blogging? Do they do justice to themselves? Many a times I have been questioned and even told, why and how am I this open? How can I talk about anything under the sun? Am I not afraid of what my family would think? Once I even received an email from a reader who questioned the choice of the topics I blog about and yes he questioned about my family as well! If I am married, how does my husband react to what I blog about?

My question to all those, who question the right to speak one’s mind is, were you asked when you were conceived? Did anyone ask you what gender would you like to be? No. No one did. One may argue, I am simply being irrational here or this is an argument that even science may not answer, but that’s how I roll. I suffer from schizophrenia, it’s not very serious but I have had very bad experiences. At one time I was scared of myself and looking in to the mirror as well. I thought the person in the mirror is not me, same symptoms were shown by my grandmother but she died. No one knew she suffered. Family still thinks, it was perhaps black magic. I have obsessive compulsive disorder, but my psychiatrist Dr. Vyjayanthi Bonanthaya from Manipal Bangalore, told me it’s alright to have OCD and people with OCD are much more organized. She always told me, I see passion in you. When I was under treatment, I always stayed sedated, did not know what was happening around me, I could not perform at work, I was a top performer who was promoted twice but had to leave and move on because I just could not cope. I moved to London, stopped medication and since then am fighting with everything on my own. My determination, the whole concept of Mind Nudity happened for I wanted to live and live without depending on medicines. Dr told me not to stop medicines and continue the course for symptoms can come back. I have observed if I keep writing, I am in control and I can manage pretty well. The day I step in Bangalore, I would meet the Dr again, to say hello.

Now why did I mention all that here? If I do not accept what I have, what my shortcomings are and take pride in it, I will only suffer more. If I do not speak my mind, I am burdening my heart with guilt, horror, keeping everyone happy while I am not happy myself. Now, I am a much more selfish person. I keep my happiness above all. Originally I wrote Mind Nudity describing how awful I felt because of all the complications but I add glamour to all of that and take it with a pinch of salt. Some of the stories, topics that I have touched upon are considered taboo. But who defines taboo? We do. Why is sex taboo? Our parents did it, we do it, our next generation will do it, even dogs do it and teach us a lesson or two, yet it is taboo. Suicides are taboo. Some who do it irrationally, I do not vouch for them, but after seeing some serious cases in my family and friends cases I have started speaking openly about it. Look what people do to Marvi Sirmad. Why do they do it? Because the ones, who are too scared to speak their mind, pull others down too. Are you one of them? Are you un-sure about what you say? Are you un-sure of your opinion or are you one of those diplomatic people who do not want to hurt anyone but stay hurt all the time for they cannot say out aloud what they want to?

Recently I observed many bloggers have been adding disclaimers after their posts, I do not mean to hurt by blogging on this topic or promote so and so profession! Well, the truth is so and so exists and that is why we blog about it. If someone is offended, that person is living in denial and if you do not speak your mind, well am sorry to say but you are living in denial. Speak your mind, who knows when they say,” you only get one life” it is indeed true and all you did throughout your life was, covered your mind.

By the way, do you hide things from your almighty too?

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P.S.: It would be great if you can keep the link for your blog below your comment :) - SUB