Holy Holes...

WARNING: I was bored with too much quantum stuff...wanted to write something stupid!! If you do not like stupid posts please skip this one...

For thousands of years holes have served us faithfully without complaining. Yet they continue to be the most ignored. Even Wikipedia does not have a decent article on it. All it says is that “hole is an opening in a solid”. My heart saddens to know that there are many people who deny there existence after all the sacrifices they have made for us. To them holes are just disturbances within a solid. I ask them, what solid is a black hole in? Holes exist and have made us what we are. This post is a tribute to all the holes on earth.

Being from the oil industry, I understand the significance of holes. It is the holes (we call wells) which provide the energy for the world. The romantic candlelight dinner you had last night, the A/C that kept you cool this summer, the luxury car that you are so proud of, are all because of the holes. Mess with them and they have the power to create another Macondo.

If you thought that was enough power, what about the volcanoes? The hot molten lavas come out through holes. Remember all the chaos it caused when the one in Iceland erupted? That’s nothing. The Yellowstone caldera is due. If that devil erupts it might be the end of humanity. The worst kinds of holes are are the ones in your pockets. They can make your life a holy shit. Even though they can be so powerful, they rarely misuse their power. They let us survive peacefully.

We hate them, we abuse them, yet it was a hole that saved a girl from getting abducted in Delhi recently. This is not a one off incident. They have done their duty quietly, more sincerely than the Delhi Police. And yet, they do not complain about their salary and take bribe. Holes are amongst the few uncorrupted things in India. Yet, we never say thanks to them while we drive by.

We appreciate the beauty of lakes and ocean, but we hardly appreciate the holes without which they would not have existed. Infact, even we would not have existed without the holes. Following is a comment from an article of ‘Baby Book’ in this website:

“If it hadn’t been for that hole, your mummy never could have had you and your daddy never could have made you inside her. Because his penis has a hole and her vagina is a hole, and he puts his penis in her vagina and a seed comes out of the hole in his penis to join with a tiny egg in your mummy’s uterus, and it grows into a baby.”

A short and precise sex education for kids. I always knew sex is holy!

What would have we done without the holes? Human body has nine holes (females technically have 10), excluding the numerous small holes in your skin (want to count?). Think of any one of them getting blocked, especially the one down below. We will be in deep shit. That is just the holes in the surface, and then you have the blood vessels, lungs, hearts, kidneys, intestines etc.

Holes also make you beautiful. Tattoos, the hole in your ears and nose for wearing earrings’ and nose rings, and all those piercing done now-a-day in god-knows-what places are all possible because of the holes. If you have one of them, please do say thanks to them.

That’s the whole thing about the holy holes. Now you understand their importance? Isn’t it time to give them the respect they deserve? For those who still think holes are not important, I dedicate this picture to them.