Saturday, August 6, 2011

Holy Holes...

WARNING: I was bored with too much quantum stuff...wanted to write something stupid!! If you do not like stupid posts please skip this one...




For thousands of years holes have served us faithfully without complaining. Yet they continue to be the most ignored. Even Wikipedia does not have a decent article on it. All it says is that “hole is an opening in a solid”. My heart saddens to know that there are many people who deny there existence after all the sacrifices they have made for us. To them holes are just disturbances within a solid. I ask them, what solid is a black hole in? Holes exist and have made us what we are. This post is a tribute to all the holes on earth.


Being from the oil industry, I understand the significance of holes. It is the holes (we call wells) which provide the energy for the world. The romantic candlelight dinner you had last night, the A/C that kept you cool this summer, the luxury car that you are so proud of, are all because of the holes. Mess with them and they have the power to create another Macondo.

If you thought that was enough power, what about the volcanoes? The hot molten lavas come out through holes. Remember all the chaos it caused when the one in Iceland erupted? That’s nothing. The Yellowstone caldera is due. If that devil erupts it might be the end of humanity. The worst kinds of holes are are the ones in your pockets. They can make your life a holy shit. Even though they can be so powerful, they rarely misuse their power. They let us survive peacefully.

We hate them, we abuse them, yet it was a hole that saved a girl from getting abducted in Delhi recently. This is not a one off incident. They have done their duty quietly, more sincerely than the Delhi Police. And yet, they do not complain about their salary and take bribe. Holes are amongst the few uncorrupted things in India. Yet, we never say thanks to them while we drive by.

We appreciate the beauty of lakes and ocean, but we hardly appreciate the holes without which they would not have existed. Infact, even we would not have existed without the holes. Following is a comment from an article of ‘Baby Book’ in this website:
“If it hadn’t been for that hole, your mummy never could have had you and your daddy never could have made you inside her. Because his penis has a hole and her vagina is a hole, and he puts his penis in her vagina and a seed comes out of the hole in his penis to join with a tiny egg in your mummy’s uterus, and it grows into a baby.”
A short and precise sex education for kids. I always knew sex is holy!

What would have we done without the holes? Human body has nine holes (females technically have 10), excluding the numerous small holes in your skin (want to count?). Think of any one of them getting blocked, especially the one down below. We will be in deep shit. That is just the holes in the surface, and then you have the blood vessels, lungs, hearts, kidneys, intestines etc.

Holes also make you beautiful. Tattoos, the hole in your ears and nose for wearing earrings’ and nose rings, and all those piercing done now-a-day in god-knows-what places are all possible because of the holes. If you have one of them, please do say thanks to them.

That’s the whole thing about the holy holes. Now you understand their importance? Isn’t it time to give them the respect they deserve? For those who still think holes are not important, I dedicate this picture to them.






You React:

64 comments:

  1. Holy Cow... I mean Holy donkey...amazing pics...looks like Gurgaon with all the pot holes.

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  2. Thanks to all the holes in this world...Nice post :)

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  3. that was a whole hole epic..... and u made me realize how greatly the holes  r underrated...... u opened a whole new attitude towards hole.
    Awesome read as always :)

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  4. yea...we are not the only ones...they are everywhere...:)

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  5. it was all about holes. nice post.but i was thinking it about quantum mechanics b4 reading it. its amazing holes does exist in reality but they are important.whether its semiconductors or a human being

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  6. i wrote too much on that...wanted to write something stupid....and don't say holes do not exist...that will make them angry...remember black holes?

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  7. oh yeah i forgot those back holes. which are the most powerful :)

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  8. Funny! a different view of holes.. in general.. :)
     

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  9. holy crap!
    that was indeed a holeful essay!
    lovely!

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  10. OMG the holes! How could you even think?  * bows at you *

    And I like the first pic, perfect!

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  11. Indian roads are not the only ones :P....thanks

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  12. I loved this post a lot :D at least I could understand and darn you did touch base on the holy hole too :| I was thinking that could be well, my glorious moment >:< to steal the thunder from this post...

    now at: http://chintangupta.blogspot.com

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  13. And you called this "stupid"?... great post! a larger lesson needs to be learnt than is visible.. and that is that we need to respect everything around us, however passive it's existence may be. :)

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  14. lol...that had to be there ;)

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  15. where do you get inspiration from ? I mean where do you get topics from ? no one must have ever blogged about a hole......loved the last pic

    just a note.....its only because of the holes we understand the imp of solidness around hehe......good post loved it, you are one blogger  I like to read selflessly

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  16. Now GoI has something holy to mull upon. Perhaps, it'll lead to more holy holes. 
    Great, just........great. 

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  17. your comments made my day :)

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  18. haha..good one! and how did u forget our very own POLO - 'the mint with a HOLE' :P

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  19. yea right...thanks for reminding :)

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  20. i am still cracking with laughter.....its like a Whole thesis on Hole.....:)
    nice flow....1st time here and loved it.

    irfan

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  21. Welcome to KHOJ Irfan...thanks for your comments...do come back :)

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  22. whoa! the hole is quite w(hole)some :P:D

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  23. whoa! the hole is quite w(hole)some :P:D

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  24. We thought about Yellow Stone's volcano erupting when we visited there 7 years ago. When that thing goes we will be in trouble! Man thinks they have things together. We can over power everything! NOT!

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  25. true...its average eruption span is 600,000yrs...the last one happened 630,000 years ago...its due!!

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  26. i guess you are stuti dhyani...

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  27. Truly wholesome view on holes :)

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  28. nice yaar ..........blog abt hole ....rock

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  29. yes i am....sorry for the duplicacy.

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  30. Hole and hearty! You just holed everything in, Superb :D

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  31. Amazing. You could think of so many things about "holes". Really w"holi"stic article.

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  32. LOL that was the most original and hilarious post I have read today. What a fund of info on something as 'holey' as holes! btw, have you thought about writing a thesis on it?

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  33. that's a great idea...can get a PhD! lol

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  34. Well the w(hole) perspective is pretty awesome. Never thought in this fashion. From our existence to survival, holes seems to be very important...

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  35. He he.. .. Hilarious post.... And yeah, I salute the holy holes :) Nice change after those deep quantum theories! 

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  36. That's a hole new perpective.. thanks for my morning laughs.

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  37. that was a wholesome post. I am wholly impressed by your departure from holy issues to come down to the level of holes. Your post had the impact of a Holyfield punch and a Holmes like scrutiny. You forgot the tribute to Saddam who was recovered from a hole.

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  38. lol....that was a nice one :)

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  39. Wow, how intelligent and creative that is !! :)

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  40. Great idea of a post on holes ... liked the ubiquitous 'potholes' on our roads especially:))

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  41. A hole makes the world Whole!!

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  42. Who said it was Stupid? Apt for light reading. I liked it. :-)

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