Dated: 8th July 2011
To all WOMEN,
[SUB: Women, Shut Up!]
Dear Fairer Sex,
Hope you all are in good health. Today being my mother’s birthday, I thought it was the right time to write this letter. This letter is dedicated to all you beauties out there. So first shut up (my apologies for using this word to attract your attention) and listen, with an open mind. When I tell you to shut up, all I mean is to stop blaming the ‘man’-kind for all your troubles. I understand that there are lots of problems that a woman has to face in her daily lives, but I believe that there is a solution to all problems, and complaining is not one of them. One needs to go back and look at the fundamental cause of the problem. We are partly to be blamed for the male dominated society that we have selfishly build. I have mentioned that already in the post 'huntress to seductress'. But this post is about the other side of the coin.
I have no option not to agree that a man’s mind is guided by his heart, and his heart is guided by something further below. That is the reason why we stare at you like the street dogs looking at the meats hanging in the meat shop; we are not just appreciating beauty here. But staring is not the problem, even girls stare at us. What’s even worse, girls stare at girls. Probably they are just looking at the clothes and not what’s within them, but still, a stare is a stare. Author of 'Against our Will', Susan Brownmiller noted,
"Man's discovery that his genitalia could serve as a weapon to generate fear must rank as one of the most important discoveries of prehistoric times, along with the use of fire and the first crude stone axe."
But men’s libido isn’t the only reason why so many women are raped or sexually assaulted around the world. Surveys have proven that 70 percent of rapists show some kind of psychopathic traits. The criminal who commits such heinous crimes are violent and has no respect for women. To solve the problem we need to teach our kids, ones who might be a future rapist 15-20 years from now, to respect women and learn to love. Remember, it is small things that make big difference.
You do not get respect, you earn it, and the onus is upon you. I do not give damn to the biological reasons that make women weak. I do not believe it, because I have seen strong women. Probably the only reason I respect women is because my mom has been my idol. Her strength of character has made me believe that women are strong. She has always fought against the injustices of the society. There were times when even my father was afraid, but this courageous woman has always stood on her ground firmly. As a woman do you have it in you to become that idol for your kids? I have heard so many times that a woman is blessing her daughter-in-law to have a 'son'. I have seen women getting sad because a daughter was born in the family. In most Indian families a son always gets more privilege than a girl even from the female members of the family. I really hate it when it comes from a woman. It is also very common for many Indian women to act like their husbands are their gods. Respect is a good thing, but it should be mutual. There should not be preferential respect based on sex. If women can touch the feet of their husbands, husbands should be ready to return the favour. Society might tell you that being a ‘Sati-Shavitri’ is a good quality in a woman. What the society is actually telling is that men are stronger than woman and deserves more respect. By being that ideal girl of the society you are teaching your kids that women are weaker. There is some responsibility women themselves have to take. It is time to earn the respect that you deserve.
Coming to the second cause, violence, are we having negative influence on our kids, are we unknowingly teaching them violence? This one is for men too. I will state a recent incidence in Gurgaon. A father came to drop his kid to the school. He parked his car in the wrong place. The guard told him politely to park it in the proper place. He started abusing the guard in-front of his kid. What was he teaching his kid? I agree that not many of us do that, but how many times have you told your kid to hit the flood back in which he/she fell and got hurt? How many times have you lied to your kids just to make him/her stop crying? How many times have you made your kid cheat in their homework? As I drive around in Delhi NCR, 90% of the cars, includes the so called educated people, does not follow traffic rules. What are we teaching our kids? Our small gestures are slowly programming our kid’s mind that is going to have a long lasting influence. It is easy to be a good person, but tough to be a good parent. It is time to teach our kids love and honesty, and not turn them into pervert devils. It is time to educate the mass and break the prejudice.
It is always easy to blame others, but only when we take up the responsibility to change ourselves that our society is going to change. One old wise man once said, be the change you want to see in the world. Lets be that change. I repeat ... small things makes big difference. Ok, enough of shutting-up, now you can start speaking. The comments section below is meant just for that.