Saturday, October 8, 2011

Now What!! [by Somyanshu]


"Hi guys! thanks for the visit. My life has changed on 5th Oct, the day after Khoj's anniversary. I was reborn as a father. My little Hridhima needs all my attention, so Khoj will see a lot of guest posts here. This is the second guest post in Khoj. Survival of Khoj now depends a lot on you guys. Forgive me for not being able to answer your comments." - SUB


P.S. The opinion below is that of the writer and not necessarily of Khoj....any one willing to write a guest post here can email me at subhrashis.adhikari@gmail.com >>>



~>o<~



Hi, my name is Somyanshu Arora. First of all I would like to thank Mr. Subhrashis Adhikari for this opportunity. I am a native of New Delhi but currently I reside in Ropar as I am pursuing B.Tech from IIT Ropar. Blogging to me is something more than a hobby. I have been blogging for nearly a year now. I like to write about different things in a different way. For example, I once compared how our feelings can be compared to lewis acids and bases. Another example would be my series TRUE STORIES (to be frank they are not actually true, I just kept the name because the characters are based on people I see around)..in which I have described how a boy changes. You can find all my posts at my blog  www.somyanshu.com. Do come there and help me improve through your precious comments.

NOW WHAT!!-  PART -2


DISCLAIMER:
This story is purely based on imagination. Any resemblance found with dead or living should be considered just as a coincidence.








After Shweta called me a mental retard, a nerd and all sorts of things, I thought it was all over. More importantly I learnt something important after that and it was that HAPPINESS LIES IN THE PATH, NOT IN THE RESULT. Well, as I was learning to live without Shweta, life surprised me again.  

It was a Tuesday morning, when my phone rang, it did not show any name, but the number appeared to be familiar. I picked it up.
“Hari, Hari can I talk to Hari?”
I recognised it pretty with the first word. It was Shweta.
“Shweta, I think we should not be talking to each other now. You don’t like me, and you don’t trust me and I am an ass..” as I was saying this Shweta interrupted.
“Let’s forget that. I am sorry. You were right about that Rohit. He is an asshole. He was cheating on me.”
“So, what can I do? I had told you.  But I guess there is nothing left to be talked about. For you I am same as Rohit, an asshole, oh even worse a nerd, an ugly person, oh sorry I am the ugliest person alive.”
“Oh please stop, I know I did a mistake. Let us start all over again. I have no friend left. You are the only one I can talk to.”
“I am afraid you are getting it wrong. I am not a power back up you can use when the MAIN supply is not there. I have a class in ten minutes, I have to go now.”
As, I was about to disconnect, I heard her crying and my heart melted. May be, she still had a corner in my heart. 
“Okay. Shweta I would be in Delhi this weekend. We would talk then. Now please let me go otherwise I would have to write an application to get inside.”

And so, arrived the weekend and I met her at a mall away from our homes. And she told me the whole story. How she found out, when she found out, where she found out and blah, blah and blah. Listening to her made me wonder “HOW CAN ONE BE SO DUMB?” Of course I am talking about Rohit here not Shweta.  And how dumb was I to choose such a girl who chose such a dumb guy over me. YOU SEE IT IS A CYCLE THEN OR MAY BE A PYRAMID.

And then she said it “I know I have been harsh on you and I have mistreated you.” 
That does not qualify even as euphemistic statement. Was all I can think of at her this statement.
“Can we start all over again? I have lost you once I don’t want to lose you again. I know it has been hard for me, but when you were away, I came to realise that you are the one for me. Hari, will you be my boyfriend?”
“What?  Forget this. You have just broken up with another guy and now I am your angel, your sweetheart. And let me tell you something you did not lose me, you kicked me out of your life and my ass is still paining with that, you get that lady. Now go to hell and don’t try to even contact me. And you know what YOU DESERVE THIS LONELINESS.”
This was what I would have said under normal circumstances but this was SHWETA, oh her sweet cute face, those big eyes and that exciting voice.
“Yes, of course, alwa…ys… I was about to say this myself.” was what I said with the biggest smile that I can put on my face. Finally, Shweta was mine. Finally, my passion was mine. My love was to be mine. Yipee…. My heart shouted. 

And I was finally into a relationship; with the one I admired the most. And days passed, then weeks. Suddenly something was missing. I had been dying for something like this but something was not right. And again the days became monotonous and the excitement was over. Travelling to Delhi every other weekend to meet her started to become jaded. I could not believe it. She was not making my life merrier. It was boredom again. And I just could ask myself NOW WHAT?



So, once I came back on Monday, from Delhi. I saw my friend’s guitar in the corner. That image took me back to my school days when I had joined guitar classes but after sometime they had become boring as well. May be it was the same case here. I had joined guitar classes only because others were learning it and when I had learnt more than my friend it was no more fun. I had mistaken that barbarous competitive spirit as PASSION and so I just could not take off once the Launchpad was got fully prepared. It was the same here. I did not love her it was just crass competition that drove me or may be ego or may be the false feeling that she was the answer to all my problems. 
HOW COULD SHE SAY NO TO ME? WHY WOULD SHE SAY NO TO ME? IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME? I WON’T LET THIS HAPPEN TO MYSELF? I WANT HER. And then I mistook her as my passion. 

This happens with all of us. 
WHY DID YOU TAKE UP COMPUTER SCIENCE?  BECAUSE EVERY BODY TAKES IT.
WHY DID YOU TAKE UP ENGINEERING?  BECAUSE MY ELDER BROTHER TOOK IT. I PERSONALLY HAD NO INTEREST IN IT.  
INFACT WHY DID YOU TAKE UP SCIENCE? BECAUSE EVERY INTELLIGENT GUY TAKES IT.

These are just some examples which shows that most of us not passion driven but competition driven. So, we are not free. Our will is not free. Others are driving us through their actions and we are getting driven like some senseless lambs. And that’s why we keep asking ourselves every now and then “NOW WHAT?”

As for Shweta, I called her up the next morning and muttered her some vituperations. Oh, it felt so good. Oh, it felt so satisfying. I may never see her ace again, but I guess we both deserved it. 

So, decide your passion first then mix some emotions with it.

LIFE IS LIKE A TREE. IDENTIFY AND NURTURE THE STEM AND THE BRANCHES WILL TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES.

You React:

7 comments:

  1. i would like to quote Steve Jobs here, on the contrary of your statement "we are not free, our will is not free",

    "Your time is limited. Don't waste it Living someone else's life."

    http://sharanjayendra.com/blogs/

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  2. Beautiful post! And how very true!
    All of us are the same, in some respect or the other.

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  3. thanks jhanvi...thanks a lot...
    i guess as you just said..that all of us are the same..but i would like to take a different take on it. in my view we tend to base HUMAN TENDENCIES on the extremities and not on what lies between them. for example most of would say that human beings are selfish based on the fact that what we do when put in a dangerous situation and not in a normal situation. and there is where the difference between most of us lies there only. So if we look for the difference more carefully there are lots of them..but when put in extreme situations most of us behave in the same way.

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  4. I guess that's why steve jobs was such a good visionary...

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  5. Hey thanks..a lot...this one is something i have observed in my life...i actualy used a lot of time on things that i chose due to others and my life was like hell..my mind was not free..trust me it would have become hell if i would have continued..

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  6. That is a good story..  brings out some truth ..

    and liked the NOW WHAT ?

    we all go through the same i think, though the decision we take change with each person.. I wentto a computer course because of the same reason .. but in my case it helped as I am working in the industry and got my first job in that ... 

    Bikram's

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